Mampukah aku menjadi wanita soleha????

•mampukah aku menjadi wanita solehah?•

Mampukah aku menjadi seperti Siti Khatijah?
Agung cintanya pada Allah dan Rasulullah
Hartanya diperjuangkan ke jalan fisabilillah
Penawar hati kekasih Allah
Susah dan senang rela bersama...

Dapatkah ku didik jiwa seperti Siti Aishah?
Isteri Rasulullah yang bijak
Pendorong kesusahan dan penderitaan
Tiada sukar untuk dilaksanakan...

Mengalir air mataku
Melihat pengorbanan puteri solehah Siti Fatimah
Akur dalam setiap perintah
Taat dengan abuyanya, yang sentiasa berjuang
Tiada memiliki harta dunia
Layaklah dia sebagai wanita penghulu syurga...

Ketika aku marah
Inginku intip serpihan sabar
Dari catatan hidup Siti Sarah....

Tabah jiwaku
Setabah umi Nabi Ismail
Mengendong bayinya yang masih merah
Mencari air penghilang dahaga
Di terik padang pasir merak
Ditinggalkan suami akur tanpa bantah
Pengharapannya hanya pada Allah
Itulah wanita Siti Hajar....

Mampukah aku menjadi wanita solehah?
Mati dalam keunggulan iman
Bersinar indah, harum tersebar
Bagai wanginya pusara Masyitah....

Sejuk ke cakap omputih..

Date : 20 Ogos 2009
Venue : Conference hall in 5 star hotel, KL
Time : 3.00 pm

En. X : Hi,
cik_kembang : Hi ( sambil melemparkan senyuman paling kambing abad ini )
En X : So, u're Dr. Farah
cik_kembang: Yes..
En. X : Just heard yr presentation on oil distillation..very impressive
cik_kembang : Ok, tq
En X : Where did u do ur pHD ??
cik_kembang : Glasgow
En X : I see.. (masa dia cakap..kening dia terangkat ala2 "double jerk" gitu...maaf sekiranya ada penggunaan bahasa inggeris disini)
cik kembang : (dalam hati...apa punya mamat ni...tanya phd kat mana..ishhh!!!..dia kenal haku apa ?? )
En. X : and where did u do yr master ??
cik-kembang : Leeds
En X : sekali lagi En X mengangkat kening seperti konpius..
cik_kembang : u ok ke ???
En. X : Err..I'm just wondering...someone who had been studied overseas just delivered her presentation in perfect bahasa malaysia...
cik_kembang ; Napa ?? Sejuk ke cakap omputih
En. X : Sejuk ???? apa yang sejuk ???
cik kembang : Sejuk tu omputih kata "cool"
En. X : Hahahaha....lawak jugak eh u ni Farah...
cik_kembang : Saya rakyat Malaysia, berada di Malaysia dan di dalam dewan ni 98% adalah orang melayu, mengapa perlu saya bercakap bahasa Inggeris, sedangkan semasa saya berpeluang membentang kertas kerja di Jepun, Korea, Taiwan, Bangkok, German...mereka begitu bangga menggunakan bahasa Ibunda...maaf jika menyinggung perasaan, saya cuma memperkatakan yg benar melalui pengalaman sendiri...kalau kita tak cakap bahasa malaysia..sapa lagi nak cakap ????
En X : (terlopong En. X sambil menggaru2 kepalanya yg saya rasa memang tak gatal)..
cik_kembang : Errr...En.. mulut tu jgn buka lama-lama..nanti masuk virus HINI
En X : Hahaha..u ni kelakar la...
cik_kembang : Errr saya tak rasa pon saya kelakar...
En. X : U ada contact number tak maybe we can go to lunch someday...
cik_kembang : Saya bukan keje sini, saya kat Pendangshire
En X : Where on earth is Pendangshire ?
cik_kembang : Pengdangshire dekat ngan Balington and SPshire..atas sket dr Alor Starville..
En. X : Hahaha...u ni Farah...
cik_kembang : Since u know my name...may I know yours plsz..
En. X : Luqmanul Hakim..
cik_kembang : (Gulps !!!!Lahaiiiiiiii sedapnya nama)

Bahagia..

My definition of bahagia is "Mempunyai hati yg tenang dan sentiasa bersyukur dengan nikmat NYA" kerana takwa dan iman terletak dihati.

" Sesungguhnya Allah tidak melihat kepada jasad dan rupa-rupa kamu, tetapi dia melihat kepada hati kamu. Baginda memberi isyarat ke arah hati dengan jari-jarinya, dan berkata, Takwa itu terletak di sini. Dan nabi memberi isyarat ke arah dadanya tiga kali" (Hadis riwayat : Muslim)

Al-Fatiha..

Tanggal 26 June 2009, kembalinya ibunda tercinta Siti Khatijah Tan Abdullah ke rahmatullah. Pemergiannya begitu tenang tatkala menghembuskan nafas terakhir sambil mengucapkan khalimah syahadah dengan disaksikan oleh kami sekeluarga.

Mama,

Allah lebih menyayangi dirimu. Pemergian mu aku terima dengan redha walaupun diiringi tangisan kerana begitu berat untukku melepaskanmu pergi. Kasih sayangmu tiada sempadan, jasa dan pengorbananmu tidak terbalas.Kesabaran dan keihlasanmu mendidik aku, abang dan adik tidak boleh dihitung dengan jari. Masih kuingat kata-kata ibu yg terakhir sebelum beliau menghembuskan nafas terakhir "Farah, bila mama dah tiada ,jaga ayah baik-baik, jangan bergaduh dgn abg dan adik,Farah jgn lupa solat, ingat tuhan selalu"...Dan masih terbayang diruang mataku sewaktu mama tersenyum bangga tatkala namaku berkumandang di Dewan Konvokesyen University of Glasgow untuk menerima ijazah doktor falsafah, dan masih terngiang-ngiang ditelingakau sewaktu mama dengan bangganya memanggil ku "Dr Farah" tatkala aku menunjukkan scroll setelah hampir 5 tahun aku bertungkus lumus menuntut ilmu di perantauan. Tapi pada hari ini, mama sudah tiada, tiada lagi lepat pisang dan kuih koci yg akan menyambut kepulanganku setiap kali pulang bercuti, tiada lagi leteran menyuruhku untuk berumahtangga dan tiada lagi kata-kata semangat yg menenangkan hatiku setiap kali aku bersedih. Cuma yg tinggal hanya kenangan ku bersama ibu. Kenangan yg akan sentiasa terpahat di kotak ingatanku selagi hayatku dikandung badan.

Wahai Ibu,

Sesungguhnya syurga itu dibawah telapak kaki ibu. Sebaknya dihati tatkala melihat tubuhmu yg layu tidak bermaya dimandi dan dikafankan. Hatiku merintih sayu, kalau boleh mahu sahaja aku bertukar nyawa agar ibu dapat dihidupkan kembali, namun aku tahu itu adalah mustahil, giliran ku akan tiba jua suatu hari nanti untuk menghadap Ilahi. Semua yang bernyawa pasti akan mati suatu hari nanti kerana "Janji Allah itu benar, Sakkaratul maut itu benar dan Hari kiamat itu benar". Terbit satu rasa keinsafan dalam diriku apabila melihat jenazah ibu diturunkan diliang lahad, air mataku tumpah tanpa henti, tubuhku menggigil menahan sebak dihati, kaki ku seakan begitu lemah untuk berdiri. Ya Allah, Ya Tuhanku...berikan ku kesabaran, berikanku kekuatan untuk meneruskan hidupku tanpa Ibu disisi. Mama, ampunkan dosa Farah, halalkan makan minum Farah, halalkan susu badan mama dan terima kasih kerana menjaga dan mendidik Farah dengan baik, sesunggunnya engkaulah ratu hatiku. Masih kuingat tatkala Ibu memujukku disaat-saat akhir hayatnya, ibu kerap berkata "Farah anak yang baik, Farah anak yg paling sempurna untuk mama, semua Ibu di dunia ini akan bersyukur dan bangga kalau ada anak seperti Farah". Kata-kata yg membuatkan aku menangis kerana aku merasakan belum cukup berbakti untuk Ibu semasa hayatnya.

Mama,

Semoga rohmu dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan dikalangan orang-orang yang beriman. Aminnnn. Al Fatiha.

Dear friends

Dear friends..

Life is full with surprises. First, the heartthrob of MOA has given me an E-card saying "Congratulations"..well...that's not a big deal..but I feel like butterflies in my stomach the moment I clicked to the link attached. Second, I bought my 3rd properties without even thinking about it just because I like the pink "heart-shaped" wall. Third, my new neighbour has made an "annauncement of the year" saying that "Girl...I've got 2 available sons..so pick your choice...LOL"..hahaha..Fourth, my dear SILs insisted that I need a very serious "life make-over". They're so determined to help me coloured my boring and predictable life into something more happening like having a vacation while eyeing for Mr. Rite...hehehe..Finally I decided to take up the challenge coz 32 is not too old to try new things....

Hope for the best of luck...
Cik_kembang

Mr Imperfect..

My problem with love is that I already know the type of man I want to love. He is in my head.. The bigger problem with that is the person I based him on is completely not in my realm of possibility. Trust me on this, I have 0 chance of bumping into him. I figure if I am going to fall in love, I want it to be with someone my heart chooses. Unrealistic? Not really. I want the man I love to have faults. I want him to have problems. I just want to be able to accept the parts of him that are not perfect. Anyway, here is a description of my own personal Mr. perfect.

My perfect man…. AKA Mr. Impossible to find.

Firstly, he is not perfect. He is perfectly flawed. Which is to say he knows he is not perfect and accepts it. He has a sense of humor slightly out of whack with the worlds. He likes to talk and tends to see more then people realize, but he is too polite to point out things that might embarrass. He is able to sit in silence, so long as it is a companionable one. He likes to read and enjoys learning. He is kind and sincere without thinking about it. He accepts people as they are. He thinks skinny chicks are unnatural. He likes and enjoys a woman’s curves. He finds women attractive in sweats and t-shirts, just as he does when they wear evening gowns and lingerie. He loves to hear a woman laugh. His heart loves beauty- in art, nature and humanity. He is discreet and doesn’t kiss and tell. He works hard, and loves harder. When he falls you know it’s forever because it takes him forever to admit it to himself. He will never fail to stand up for his beliefs but he is just as willing to hear the other side. He has a childlike wonder and cherishes children because he sees them as amazing people. He loves to hear stories. He laughs often and with heart. He loves to hold hands and gaze into his loves eyes. He has to touch his love often, because he cherishes her presence. He likes to challenge his loves mind by arguing on any topics, because he can’t wait to hear what she is thinking about all manner of subjects both serious and silly. He loves to laugh in bed. He has integrity and good manners. He is respected in his work for taking risks, but unashamed when he fails because he learned things in the attempt. He can’t wait to go to bed at night because he will hold the woman he loves. He can’t wait to wake in the morning, because he wonders what she will say first. He is my perfect man. Now all I have to do is find him !!! Errr ..I mean "surf" him or "google" him..LOL...where should I start first???? ebay.com.my, lelong.com.my or jodoh.com.my..LOLOL

Conjunctivitis

Lahaiiiiiiiiiii...azabnya sakit mata !!!!! The pain is indescribable, the itchy eyes are unbearable and the tears is immeasurable..seems like 1 liter of tears has been flowing continously from my eyes for the past few days...Arghhhhhh !!!!!!

Why I Am A Chemical Engineer

I am a chemical engineer because when I was young I was told to look around and see what kind of life I wanted to have. Then, I did what I was told dutifully.

What I found out was that chemical engineers are generally much better looking than average (for eg. :Tunku Zara, the queen of Raja Nazrin Shah and Cindy Crawford, both of them are chemical engineers by training). They're smart, successful and drop dead gorgeous.

I heard about some guys from a university who studied chemical engineering. They believed that chemical engineers get approached easily and generally luckier about 43 times as often as most folks. But to me most of them hardly had a time to socialize. They have 0% social life and I believe the "fun department" in their brains, somehow had been deteriorated over time, as they get older.

Chemical engineers win more at cards, catch more fish and are beloved by kids and cats. They can work their dvd and set the clock on the microwave simultaneously. Their kids are brighter, their lawns are greener and their cars run better. Their daughters are prettier and their sons are better athletes. Their spouses are sweeter and their mothers-in -law hardly visit them coz they haven't had the foggiest idea what you do at work... LOLOL

Chemical engineers do things like save lives and generally they make a better world...hehehe.. (for eg. they're always trying to figure out how to reduce the oil prices by extracting more biofuels..LOL ) Anyway, when I looked around and it seemed to me that chemical engineers were clearly superior folks and I would be proud to be one. That is why I am a chemical engineer.

One of the most frequent questions that I have been asked is "How do chemists compare as scientists vs. chemical engineers?"

In my experience, chemical engineers like to come up with complex models that yield long equations. They then proceed to plug in typical values for this, that, and the other, and end up with something that still has no analytical solution. Not forgetting that if you can't make an equation work, one can always add/multiply by dimensionless number, or put a number to a 'funny' power 2/3rds or 3/4, etc, to get an answer....They use the equation to make a graph, and are pleased with themselves for doing something useful. They are thus engineers. Scientists, on the other hand, seek out things that are simple, elegant, beautiful, and useless... truth being more important than usefulness.

Chem Engineers are high tech plumbers - they move and make all the nasty things the chemists come up with from point A to B (economically, energy savings and without killing the neighborhood). They make all the wonderful chemicals they deal with affordable and useful. Plus, ChEngs make the big bucks!..LOL

From Scotland to Pendangshire..A journey to remember...

Hmmm..It has been a long time since my last entry here...I've been very busy at work.. a long strings of meeting, paper works, conferences and entertaining unlimited visitors who came to my office at odd hours..."SIGH"..I'm tired..and someone asked me "CK...how's life ?" and I said seriously "I have no life at all and I can prove it mathematically". He laughed huskily..showing the most straight white teeth I've ever seen in my whole life. I have to hold my breath for a good 2 secs at the sight of it and my mouth was half opened like a gawking teenagers and I was blushing hotly when he added cheekily .." How about dating with me..I think it will coloured your life beautifully"..LOLOL . I feel bad coz my reputation as Puteri ais has been ruined badly . Puteri ais suppose to be cold, feelingless, serious and never give a damn about someone else's teeth..but what did I do ?? Instead of being aloof, I was looking at him dreamily like a Sweet 17..Ishhhh !!!! Wat malu aje..LOLOL...hehehe...I think I definitely need a break.

Suddenly, I miss Scotland, the place where I healed my broken heart, the place that taught me love and friendship is a common scenario in life. The place where I travelled a long way, thousand miles from home just to heal my broken heart. I purposely landed in Glasgow, the largest city in Scotland, situated in the River Clyde in the west central of lowlands. Scotland is geographically surrounded with lochs, beautiful mountains, hills and rivers. A land where there might not be, as some say, a castles on every hill, but there is a story round every corner: from bloody battles with invaders, mythical creatures haunting the hills and the lochs and a romantic place for lovers and honeymooners. Scotland is a land that evokes many emotions.

In the winter mornings there are always wafts of mist floating above the loch surface and around the waist of the surrounding mountains. The loch is tranquility itself, and so are the reflections of the surrounding mountains on the water. I still remember clearly, there was no sound, not even a chirping sound of birds.The ambient was so peaceful and breathtakingly beautiful and definitely a good place to mend a broken heart.
The tranquility of lochs is unbreakable, the verdure of the mountains and forests are unchangeable, and the clear streams that run down from the top of mountains are gurgling along, unstoppable. But whoever wants to change it anyway? Embrace the nature, explore it and then leave it to peace, that’s one of the best things I would like to do in the nature. And I did so in Scotland.
Then, after a few years in Scotland, when my heart had been partially healed, when my mission had been accomplished with 2 degrees in hands, I decided to take off to home for good. To serve my country and people loyally like a good citizen I suppose to be. And finally I landed in Pendangshire, a small place in Kedah, the place that I call home. The place where nature and greenness are everywhere , which brings a good balance in life for a city girl like me. I enjoy staying in Pendangshire where friendliness is a nature among villagers. They will greet u eagerly with smiles never leave their face and they're willing to help you sincerely and never ask anything in return.

Life is short. I would never allow my life to be consumed with work that brings me nothing but swollen feet, a pounding head, a bitter attitude and a saturated mind. Instead, I like to be "Like Nature". Sit quietly (lots of R & D..LOL), and rest for a moment, enjoy the glory of life while I can. I like to imagine the kind of life I really want. I like to think the idea of perfect life is something simple and not complicated. How I wish to have the kind of "paperless life"...the life with no reports to be submitted, no papers to be delivered/presented and no meetings to be attended. I want to enjoy life to the fullest coz life is too short to worry too much. I hope one day I can declare proudly "My life is so colourful and I can prove it chemically"..hmmmm

Tired...

* SIGH*....I'm too tired to write ...I just got back from conference hall with saturated mind full with facts and figures and the only thing I fancy at the moment is R & D ( hehehe...Rehat & Duduk )..LOL. Ok...cya ..

Happy Valentines Day

To the one who broke my heart...Thank you, coz you taught me how to luv but not how to stop... Happy Valentines Day..

The days tick by so slowly
My eyes tear up and I cry
My heart is so heavy
I wish that I would die



I don't see the beauty in the flowers
Nor the sun when it shines
I am so lonesome without you
My love for you won't decline



I think of our days together
And the wondrous times we shared
My heart is broken in pieces
Knowing those were the days you cared

----Cik kembang----

Why girls like bad boys

If we are to believe the movies, the ruthless tough guy, Mr. Bad Boy, always gets the girl !! If we remember the bad guys at school and college with the best looking babes it appears that the movies could be right. The best looking girls always seem to love the bad guys. Maybe because the best looking guys always became the bad guys (HEHEHE) ? Everywhere we tend to see bad guys and nice girls (for eg. some girls find mat rempit very attractive). At school, we see our Prom queen or the cheerleader's captain hang out with School's Most Wanted. What is going wrong?

Meanwhile the man down the street who treats his girlfriends mean, never calls, is rude and unhelpful and shows little respect appears to have a fan club developing (LOL). Life my friends is often unfair. Okay let us look at what is going on with this scenario.

Interest. Yes, interest. Bad guys are interesting, they do interesting things. They have strayed from the straight-and-narrow and are a law unto themselves. They do what they want. They go where they will and they answer to no one. They are interesting. Tow the line, do as you are told and you are dull. Maverics are interesting, straight guys are not. Generally.

Bad Guys are a challenge, we all love a challenge. Women love a challenge just like guys. If something is a challenge the end results must surely be worthwhile? Of course and bad guys are a challenge. The girls who go after a bad guy want to keep them to themselves and will do a great deal to keep hold. The more you want them, the greater there is a chance they may walk away (Errr..most bad guys I met..very jual mahal one..hahaha..they play hard to get and they provide challenge that makes them more interesting). Women love to feel good about themselves and getting their bad guy, at least for a while, satisfies that urge. This appeals to some people and the greater the danger of loosing a bad guy, the greater the effort to keep them. There may be a lesson there.

Bad guys are confident and self assured. They know what they are about and don' really care what others think. They are their own men and don't need others to prop them up. Some can become almost caricatures of themselves but that doesn't make them any less attractive. Bad guys don't have to be in shape, just look at James Galdofini from The Sopranos. Somewhat out of shape if Mr. Soprano doesn't mind me saying, but immensely attractive all the same.

What have we got if we combine these facets. Power, strength of character, confidence, a maverick nature and an immensely interesting personality. That equals SEXY. Is it any wonder therefore that such types of guys often get the gals. It doesn't mean to say that we like them and it doesn't mean to say that this is fair or a good thing. But it can be natures way.

I am not in any way suggesting that we should all be Mr. Bad Guy. No not at all. What I am saying is that there are lessons to be learned here. If you can increase your confidence levels, get your career on the right tracks, excel in what you do and be your own man within the confines of your working life then this will boost your attractiveness. You don't need to go round being bad, but you can be a bit more deliberate in your actions, a little less available and a little more enigmatic. This will boost your interest factor and again help in your attractiveness.

I think bad guys have this kind of hidden quality, deep inside they're kind, loving, helpful, very handy at home (they can cook, wash, clean and doing your laundry like a "oooohhh soo hubby material") and they're a superb survivors...u know the one that you can rely on if you ever get stranded on an "non-populated island" just like in LOST series ..hehehe.. And I luv those qualities and hopes in my wildest dreams that one day a "bad boy"...will swept me off my feet and say "I luv you".....

My definition of luv...

You'd think that as we age, the meaning of luv would become clearer. I used to think i knew the answer what luv is all about. You meet a guy, you fall in luv, The end. The concept that luv had to be worked at yet to make an impact in my tiny little world. By my mid-teens, my belief that luv was merely being with someone who wanted to be with you continued to be strengtened by the few bfs who fitted in and out of my life. I never treid to understand or attempt a definition of love then. It just was. The idea then was to enjoy being in each other's company and not fighting. That's it. Simple. Except life never is.

I was 20 when i started dating a guy who clearly had a much more limited definition of the concept than i did. While my idea of being with someone meant spending enormous time together, his was to give in to his suspicious mind. My introduction to the jeolous bf was a life-changing affair of which, suffice to say, the scars still remain. Why i took so long to walk away is a question that still bothers me but I'd like to blame the whole fiasco on my poorly defined ideal of love. I had to reconsider my stance that love just is. I took a break from men altogether, opting to stay in and study or hang out with friends rather than seek something I clearly didnt understand. I think being in luv is about butterflies in tummy, pulse racing, heart pounding, daydreaming and not to forget being "perasan". Actually being perasan is not a crime. I enjoy being perasan just like I enjoy eating lepat pisang after a long day at work. But I think..luv is more than that.. it's about chemistry...whether we clicked or "not clicked".

Now..At this age ....I enjoy being an adult and still waiting for the rite one to come into my life coz " Im not a girl..Im a grown up woman...what I need is time...the moment that is mine.. bla bla bla....hehehe..Eh tetiba je I jadi serious and it worries me coz I dun like my "serious self"..I enjoy stupid jokes and I like making one myself..LOL

Ok..gtg.. I need to feed my baby kerbau...

What If...

Actually I dun know what to write at the moment..got this mental block syndrome..Suddenly I've got this idea on certain things,,..(most likely my fius dah rosak..hehehe...LOL)

What if the sultan of Brunei proposed to me as his 3 rd wife ??
Errr..I think..I'll be flying to heaven...

What if someone said "Kembang (of coz that's not my real name)...I luv you"..
Wahhh..kembang rasa kaki tak jejak bumi....

What if someone gave me flowers with the notes attached "Secret admire"
I think...sampai ke lubang cacing kembang cari..sapalah mamat yg bertuah ni..hehehe

What If I've found 1 million ringgits on my way back to bendang after checking on my baby kerbau..
Dan dan tu jugak kembang pi beli "hubby" errr..kat mana nak beli eh...Tesco ke Giant or kat ebay ..hmmmm (kembang will decide later LOL)

What If I was born as a man ??
Hmmmm...I dun like the idea of being a man coz I'm going to miss my sanitary pad and PMS badly..heheh

What If the MOST gorgeous man in town asked me out..
LOL..I think I'll faint instantly with my mouth wide opened and my eyes half closed and miss all the "once- in a -life-time-opportunity"..

What If I dun have an internet connection rite now...
Hmmm..I think I'll start buying a "writing pad" in order to write a surat cinta and post it manually...just like an old days...but i think this old-fashion way a little bit cute and more touching..

What If I dun become a farmer...
I think I'll be a gardener instead..coz I always have passion for plant..errr...any plant as long as not a "nuclear plant"..hehehe

Falling in luv..

Once upon a time, something happened to me,
It was the sweetest thing, that could ever be,
A fantasy, a dream come true,
It was the day that I met you

A flower without a stem, is beauty waiting to die.
A heart without love, is a tear waiting to cry.

---Cik kembang----

10 ugly facts about cik_kembang

1. Always attracted to mechie....err.. I think mechie is my ideal partner..LOL
2. I like shopping, shopping and shopping
3. Tersangatla suka kumpul gambar kerbau..yerla kembang ni berjiwa petani
4. My fav. food is lepat pisang
5. "Errr" is my fav. verb
6. "Cap ayam" is my fav. brand
7."Hornymoon" is my fav. word
8."U single ke double ??"..is my fav. quote
9. Bila frust..london is my fav. place
10. "Oh..sayang....engkaulah jejaka idaman" is my fav. song

Hello...

This is the 1st entry for 2009...nothing much to share or said..Happy New Year to everyone..